Shitto-bahn

 The other week I took my little family on a little trip. The destination was Kassel (Or Kassler 🥩 as I called the city), a city about 4 hours away by car.

 

At 0430 the day after Father's Day we were on our way out the door. It should be pointed out that fathers celebrate German Father's Day by getting together in groups, talking shit and strewing around with a beer in hand and 5 in the stomach with one one the way out. But more about that in another post. 

So before the sun rose, there were heavy feet that dragged themselves out of bed. Maybe the feet were still a little round around the edges... Not the most comfortable thing I've done, but it was pretty self-inflicted... (the lady drove) 

So now you're thinking, why so early? The reason was simply so that the daughter could sleep in the car for a bit, which makes the trip a little more affordable. I didn't manage to sleep, not for a lack of trying though..

The trip went well, the company was nice and the city aswell. We lived near the Orangery, relatively central. The concrete cap lasted more or less the entire first day, but we mostly chilled in a park, so it wasn't too bad. 

But what does this have to do with Shitto-bahn then? (apart from how I felt when we rode it on the way there?) Nothing more than that we had to go somewhere in order to go home, as it was on the way home that the Shitto-bahn lived up to its name. Germany likes cars (you can read about it here: Auto(mo)bil ) and the Autobahn is world-renowned for its free speed, but for the inhabitants it is more famous for its traffic jams... And there were traffic jams. Our 4 hours in the car became closer to 6 hours. I still have sensations in my knee like a knackered alpine skier - from sitting with the clutch in 1st gear.. 

With a 3-year-old in the back seat and a pregnant woman in the passenger seat (now i was driving), you can probably understand that there needs to be a pit stop. Or two. Now I have to highlight that it was surprisingly few given the circumstances. 

The Autobahn has several parking lots with toilets for everyone's every day needs. These are as you might expect, in exactly the condition you expect. Kind of like the ladies' toilet at a nightclub at 3am on Boxing Day (typical party day for you adults in Sweden). Not so fucking nice anyway. Then there is often about as long a queue there as at the nightclub.

 

So what do people do then? Well.. They go out into the woods of course! Oh sure, nature calls and then you have to answer. But walking into a small grove and seeing 3-4 people sitting half-crouching in the bushes and being hit by a scent like a farmer's manure spreader (albeit with a human character), is not very pleasant.  

Cozy... 

As I said... Nature calls and then you have to answer in get that. Four toilets for the equivalent of 2-300 parking spaces may be slightly undersized and lead to drastic measures. 

But you could take the paper to the dustbin 15 meters away, surely?